long time and long words stranger

just want to thank everyone for still coming to my little gallery here, it means alot to me to know people still come, look and like my work after all this time. i know i havent done much new, i have, but it's just work ive messed around with. maybe ill have somethin for show sooner or later, hopefully sooner.

on a more personal level...ready?

severely depressed the past 6 years of my life, over that period of time i neglected alot of my friends, family and loved ones and i regretably drug april through 3 years of it. she stuck by me through it all and put up with my childishness, aggressiveness and the shell i surrounded myself with. for that i thank her and she means more then the world to me, more then she'll ever know and more than i can even express. i love her today tomorrow and forever.

i can't help but tear up so much that it becomes crying, its been happening everyday for the past month and sometimes more then twice a day. writing that last paragraph did me in.

i have been drawing alot lately, art is my crutch sometimes, it got me through the first 3 years of my depression and i was able to express my love, fears and hopes through it. now im drawing again because im in a rough time. making music again. digital art may come soon i hope.

first 3 years of my depression i was a digital art madhouse, cranking out peice after piece.

the next 3 years i drowned in addiction with computer games which ultimately tore my life apart into big horrendous pieces, i know what you are thinking, how could it have been that bad it's just some computer games. it was bad, very bad if anyone ever asks me if ive done crystal method, id say yes now because thats how bad it was. its very dissapointing to know what ive done, the people ive hurt and what ive done to myself and especially to april. it is very hard to live with myself. it's very hard to express the pain i am in. it was worse then anyone here will ever know...here go the tears again.

i know this is the longest journal entry ive ever done. i thank you if you actually read it. i could go into even more detail.

and i thank all my viewers, for the favorites, comments and support. it's always brought light to my darkness.

sincerely,
jonathan

ps. april i love you